Baring My Soul

Thursday night, I went to practice late and frazzled. Thank goodness for my husband who has been very supportive about getting me to band practice, even if it means he has to be the only parent taking our kids to 4-H horse practices while I take kids to soccer and church activities before I zip to practice.

If you are reading this, dear, thank you!!

Sang Stand By Me for the second time and shocked the band and me. I don't know if it's just that I've been singing consistently for weeks now, but my voice sounded deeper and richer. Went better than the first practice, when I was so nervous and not really cutting loose.

I cut loose so much that I did the growls for I love Rock n Roll. I also harmonized the chorus of It Makes No Difference. That was fun. I love experimenting. I also feel more confident about my singing and trying new things.

***
I read a book recently written by the Five Browns (the five siblings who play piano together) called Life Between the Keys and loved this quote from Desirae Brown:

I know what I like in a performer. Some people in the industry call it the "x factor" or "that special something". I think it's generosity. Great performers open up to an audience and bare their soul. These special artists aren't thinking of what the audience is thinking of them. They are completely lost in the moment, in a memory, in a sound, in a feeling. Seeing such a performer is so satisfying because you walk away feeling what they were feeling.

I felt like that on Thursday. I felt like I gave my all, and resisted the urge to "hide" behind demureness. And when I was done, I felt so exhausted, so tired I felt like crawling to the car. (I didn't.) I thought I would sleep good, but I was still so keyed up I couldn't sleep even though I had an early start the next day driving at 5 a.m. to go to a writer's conference.

I hope I can give my all not just as a performer, but as a novelist as well.

How It All Began

I went to the local music store to buy some sheet music for my daughter. On the way in, a flyer on the bulletin board caught my eye. It said:

Wanted: lead singer for a rock band. Man or woman okay, basement band, 40+ year old members, we don't drink or do drugs.

Now I am not under the delusion that I am American Idol material. No one has ever come up to me and encouraged me to go on to Nashville or Hollywood or Broadway. But I do sing in public and I am not above hamming it up to entertain an audience. (And no, Lance, I'm afraid you'll just have to imagine the hippo song as I burned all evidence LOL.)

I passed the flyer. Once. Twice. And then I thought, what the heck, and punched the numbers into my phone. To my relief I got a machine and left a message.

Later in the evening, I got a call during my daughter's basketball game from a guy who said I had left a message about the rock band? I about dropped the phone and sneaked out to the hallway; I couldn't have anybody overhear this conversation!

This guy "Tom" explained that they meet once a week, sometimes they have gigs, they once did the county fair.He wanted to know what kind of songs I like to sing. I told him three I could think of, even singing part of one. I waited for him to say, Hallelujah, you are the lead singer we have been looking for. He didn't, but he nicely said, "Well, why don't you try it out? See if you like it?" He asked me to email him some songs that I like to sing and maybe they could learn it.

I asked what gender the rest of the band are, and he said they are all men. As I digested this in silence, he assured me, "But we aren't weirdos." Great! What a relief to know.

So I told him I'll email him some songs and go from there. I giggled all the way back to my daughter's basketball game wondering what my husband would think of it.

***
I have a sweet wonderful husband. He didn't say, "No, you shouldn't even try out." In fact he said, sure I could go try it for one night. Find out what this would entail. And then we'll talk. He is concerned about the time involved and cutting into family time. And he is concerned about the fact that it would mean me hanging out with a bunch of men once a week.

I told him I shared his concerns. I don't know why I'm even considering this when there are so many things on my plate right now. As for the "men" thing, I told him I suppose it'd be like if he decided to scrapbook with women once a week. Well, maybe not. But it's a real issue, I know.

He also said, "What if they reject you? You take rejection hard..." Well, I told him, I've done things before and risked rejection. I might be sad at first, humiliated potentially, but I might just laugh about it afterwards. And it'll make for good essay fodder.

I just want to say, never mind because I may not be able to commit to it past that one night. But I think I just might do it. Why not? What have I got to lose other than a bruised ego? To be a rock star for a night. That would be so sweet.