Enough

"The past is a great place and I don't want to erase it or to regret it, but I don't want to be its prisoner either." - Mick Jagger

"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer." - Denis Waitley

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney

My Rock Band Audition

Last night, I went and sang with a local rock band that was looking for a lead singer. And they said they found one.

Me.

*eep*

***
It’s not like they have aspiring lead-singers banging on their door. And they don’t even get paid for their gigs. Yet. But they have been playing together for three years, having discovered this mutual interest at work. And I might not be a connoisseur of rock music but they can play mean guitar and drums.

There are four men on the band, the lead guitarist, rhythm guitarist, bass guitarist, and drummer. They hold day jobs and look like your average suburban neighbor. They play mostly hard rock from the 60s and 70s. Our playlist last night included:

House of the rising sun – Bob Dylan
Sunshine of your love – Cream
Horse with no name – America
Knockin on heaven’s door – Bob Dylan
Stand by me – Ben King
What I like about you – The Romantics
I can’t tell you why – Eagles

Singing with a real band was a rush. Having a live guitarist play heart-pounding opening riffs of rock songs and me “owning” the songs… there’s nothing like it.

***
This is crazy. I’m already juggling so many balls. This will require some sacrifice on my family’s part. And, if I am not careful, this can derail my fiction-writing and personal life.

But part of me knows this is an opportunity that may never come again. If I were to do it, I would only do it under my own terms, with a scaled-back gig line-up. And if the band thinks they’ll need more from me, then I will walk away from this. Because some things are just more important.

I told the band I would have to think about it and talk to my husband about it. My husband says ultimately, it is my decision. He’s not crazy about the idea, but I know when push comes to shove, he will come through with his support. He always has. Even if he has to fake it for a while.

I never thought I’d be facing this decision this late in my life (I am 37). Who would have guessed?

How It All Began

I went to the local music store to buy some sheet music for my daughter. On the way in, a flyer on the bulletin board caught my eye. It said:

Wanted: lead singer for a rock band. Man or woman okay, basement band, 40+ year old members, we don't drink or do drugs.

Now I am not under the delusion that I am American Idol material. No one has ever come up to me and encouraged me to go on to Nashville or Hollywood or Broadway. But I do sing in public and I am not above hamming it up to entertain an audience. (And no, Lance, I'm afraid you'll just have to imagine the hippo song as I burned all evidence LOL.)

I passed the flyer. Once. Twice. And then I thought, what the heck, and punched the numbers into my phone. To my relief I got a machine and left a message.

Later in the evening, I got a call during my daughter's basketball game from a guy who said I had left a message about the rock band? I about dropped the phone and sneaked out to the hallway; I couldn't have anybody overhear this conversation!

This guy "Tom" explained that they meet once a week, sometimes they have gigs, they once did the county fair.He wanted to know what kind of songs I like to sing. I told him three I could think of, even singing part of one. I waited for him to say, Hallelujah, you are the lead singer we have been looking for. He didn't, but he nicely said, "Well, why don't you try it out? See if you like it?" He asked me to email him some songs that I like to sing and maybe they could learn it.

I asked what gender the rest of the band are, and he said they are all men. As I digested this in silence, he assured me, "But we aren't weirdos." Great! What a relief to know.

So I told him I'll email him some songs and go from there. I giggled all the way back to my daughter's basketball game wondering what my husband would think of it.

***
I have a sweet wonderful husband. He didn't say, "No, you shouldn't even try out." In fact he said, sure I could go try it for one night. Find out what this would entail. And then we'll talk. He is concerned about the time involved and cutting into family time. And he is concerned about the fact that it would mean me hanging out with a bunch of men once a week.

I told him I shared his concerns. I don't know why I'm even considering this when there are so many things on my plate right now. As for the "men" thing, I told him I suppose it'd be like if he decided to scrapbook with women once a week. Well, maybe not. But it's a real issue, I know.

He also said, "What if they reject you? You take rejection hard..." Well, I told him, I've done things before and risked rejection. I might be sad at first, humiliated potentially, but I might just laugh about it afterwards. And it'll make for good essay fodder.

I just want to say, never mind because I may not be able to commit to it past that one night. But I think I just might do it. Why not? What have I got to lose other than a bruised ego? To be a rock star for a night. That would be so sweet.