While I Wait

It's official. The band has a gig on October first.

And we haven't practiced since the start of August, before I went on a two-week vacation, due to schedules that aren't quite lining up.

Yikes.

Well, I have tried to practice here at home, but it is not the same. I think my voice is feeling it, like a muscle that is a little rusty from dis-use.

Ah, well. Life happens. And my hope is when we come together again, we will be refreshed and ready to rock.

***
So meanwhile, I have been playing a lot of acoustic guitar. I am learning "Grandma's Feathered Bed" and my kids always jump in with "ewww" at the right moment (after "...I kissed Aunt Lou") and I told them they should sing and dance back up if I ever perform this in public. They give me this panicked look.

And learning some new songs. I have discovered Linda Ronstadt. I plan to sing "That'll be day" a note lower than she does. Wouldn't have occured to me to sing a cover of a cover of a Buddy Holly song if it weren't for R suggesting it. Fun song.

***
Got a copy of our band's take on my original song, "Wishing on a Star". So cool to hear it, though a bit rough in the edges. There's two versions, one is in a higher note. I find it easier to sing the higher one, but the lower one brings out a richness in my voice. I am leaning towards the lower one.

I have a lot to learn in songwriting, like how to make my songs more interesting by varying the arrangement. I am excited to write more songs.

What A Woman Wants

I really really want a new guitar.

For my birthday, I got a John Denver guitar songbook. D told me that a former singer of theirs liked this kind of music and was declined from the band. Which is too bad. I really like singing some songs, especially "Leaving on a Jet Plane". But if we did start singing folk songs like this, it'll kind of dilute the rock band image.

I'm getting better at playing chords, and my fingertips are starting to have calluses, but sometimes, my guitar veers from ukelele sound to country twang.

Not good.

A friend's guitar teacher is selling hers for $1k to $2k. A Taylor. If I save up for it, I can probably pay it off in 100 months.

Sigh.

I told my kids I could sell our "real" piano (we have a digital, too) but that was voted down.

I was really only kidding.

But I still want a new guitar.

My New Candy

After our first performance, I sense that our band is more committed to me as the singer. It was, in essence, a test. And I think - I hope! - that I passed.

***
Practice last night was not the usual. Well, for one thing, I shared a song with the band that I wrote, called Wishing on a Star.

I am getting the shakes just thinking about it.

It was the most terrifying - and wonderful - experience I have ever had, musically.

***
After the band warmed up with Big Me, L picked my song to practice next. (That is what we do, we go around and take turns picking a song to practice.) No more hiding my light under a bushel! So I took out my acoustic guitar and strummed the first chord.

I could practically hear them all wince, the chord did not sound like an "E". I felt so mortified (My guitar was a cheap purchase I made early on for guitar lessons, when I was pregnant with my boy, so that is what, oh 11 years ago?).

L tuned my guitar, but it still had "issues". So I asked if I could borrow L's red electric guitar. The worried expression on his face was funny. He handed it to me with the charge to take care of his "baby".

I've always thought an electric guitar is smaller and easier to cradle -and it is - but I didn't expect it to be so heavy! I sat down on a stool, crossed my legs and tried to not drop the thing.

I strummed the first chords - okay, much better! - and the band came alive around me. D got a good beat going, the "samba" beat I envisioned, the others followed along well. It was hard to sing and play the guitar (half-falling off my lap) at the same time, but somehow I managed.

After the first run through, I sat there waiting for the verdict. I told them I welcomed any suggestions. As an artist - music or words - I am open to feedback and would have taken any bad news like a big girl, but honestly my ego was fragile at this point. R said my song was "pretty" and he liked it. And the others didn't seem to think - at least judging from their expressions - it was too sappy for the band. So I was grateful for them treating me with kindness.

I handed back L's guitar, and they played while I sang two versions in different keys. The lower one sounds more R&B, but the higher one is easier for me to sing and to make pretty. I will listen to both versions on our recording and decide which one is better.

Wishing on a Star is definitely a sappy love song, but infused with my band's soft rock tempo, I thought it sounded upbeat.

R said it is better than my first one. He was referring to my earlier tongue-in-cheek attempt at composing a band song which was inspired by Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks.

***
Writing the lyrics to Wishing on a Star was cathartic. Coming up with a melody was a marvel. Figuring out chords was fun.

But hearing it all come together - like a real song - in a band session. Wow! It is just simply amazing.

I am just blessed, so blessed to have this creative opportunity with a really good group of musicians with good hearts.

I have found my new candy.

My Rock Star Debut

You can read the recap of my August first rock-star debut here.

Recovering Before My Debut

Was so tired last night from going to the county fair (and getting sick from riding a turbo propeller like ride - I am good to go on fast rides for another fifteen years; back to the carousels for me!) I fell asleep promptly. Woke up in middle of the night and then I tossed and turned.

Nerves..?

Tonight, at 7, is my first ever rock band concert performance.

***
Here's my glamorous to-do list for getting ready for my debut as a singer for a rock band:

1. Change light bulbs at the venue with drummer. Check!

2. Clean off picnic tables for tonight.

***
Yesterday, I went down to the park with D and my kids and we unscrewed the bases of light bulbs some marauding vandals shot out with air soft guns from weeks ago. My park contacts had said they will change them, but as of yesterday hadn't, so I thought I would just do it as a favor, in exchange for the free use of the park.

This morning I will go down and hose off the tables. You know that saying, leave it as you found it? Well, I hope we will be leaving the park in better shape.

***
My mind is full of rock band thoughts, so bear with me.

At the county fair last night, I watched other bands perform and I made the following observations:

1. A classic rock band had hoola hoops and air guitars to involve the crowd. Brilliant.

2. But their lead singer - who looked like Bruce Willis - was dressed like he just tumbled out of bed, like a Hanes shirt and rumpled shorts. I still don't know what I'm wearing tonight, but I know it won't be slapdash. At least not on purpose.

3. Bribery works. They put out a call for air guitarists. They dangled two tickets to a baseball game to the first adult to come up, so I got up and did it. It was so fun! And I wasn't nervous at all. I mean, it was peanuts compared to having to really sing the darn thing (Go Johnny Go). And the singer really did look like Bruce Willis up close.

4. I am glad my band doesn't look like a biker gang (the blues band that followed). I would have a hard time justifying this to my mother-in-law.

***
In a quiet corner of the fair, a woman and her acoustic guitarist-husband played songs that I love love love. Norah Jones, Jewel, Tracy Chapman, Maroon 5. Later I introduced myself and we got talking. She told me she was in a 7-piece cover band other times, but decided to do this duo act to indulge her craving to sing "sappy chick songs". I told her I could totally relate and why.

I appreciate my band for "indulging" the bluesy ballads that I enjoy, but the songs kind of dilute our hard rock image, ya know? But give me an acoustic guitar and folk songs and I feel like I am carving time out of limestone cliffs. Timeless peace.

I requested "Ain't No Sunshine" and they winged it from the recesses of their long-ago archives, and the result was so Amazing! Everything about it - the guitar solo, her voice. Man.

The singer was not only beautiful and talented, but kind. When my sweet patient family came around at 10 pm to see if I was done indulging my live music fetish, she said, after a song, "You have a cute mom. Is it fun to have a rocker mom?" My kids looked at me in surprise - she knows? - and nodded sheepishly. Then she said we have a beautiful family.

Which I have. My kids are precious. And my husband, to support me in my rock band aspirations...he is the best.

***
Lastly, the other night I was on top of the world because I composed the lyrics and melody AND figured out guitar chords for a ballad called "Wishing On A Star". The best thing about it was, I performed it for my family and my older daughter said she likes it, which is such a compliment. I like writing stories and songs that my daughter enjoys. I feel like I have passed a litmus test when I do.

I wanted to share this song with my rock band at last week's practice, but between having to focus on the task at hand (last practice before tonight's performance) and not feeling like the song is really rock band material, I just held this song close to my chest. Someday, I would love to perform it in public, with me on acoustic guitar.

Faking It Till It's Real

I got through practice last night with a few scrapes, but overall it was good. Looking back, I have come a long way since that fateful night in March when I decided to be rocker mom along with being soccer mom.

What an education it's been.

I open my little notebook of lyrics to the song so I have the words just in case. 21 songs is lot to memorize. Some songs I think I have pretty much committed to memory, but the whole performing thing makes my brain freeze or something.

We did a quick run-through of all the songs and they took about an hour and a half without me bantering between songs.

I was just plain worn out afterwards.

Hey, *news flash* - singing is a lot of work.

***
As for our playlist...

21 songs do seem like a lot. We might can a song or two.

What's so funny is out the window. R thinks Big Me should go, too. I really like Big Me. I'm not sure why he doesn't want our rendition, other than maybe he expects me to sound a certain way?

Hit me with your best shot is wobbly. I love rock n roll is good most of the time, but is it consistent enough to perform?

Next Thursday is our last practice before the real thing next week.

***
If I can continue my good-bandmate behavior
If I can practice my lyrics and not flub What I like about you
If I can quell my nerves
If I can get sleep and stay healthy
If I can remember this is all just for fun
If I can remember to ask Heavenly Father for help

then we are good to go.

***
We need us some swagger. Who cares if we are not like a "professional" band? I think we sound pretty darn good.

Teen bands who don't have as much polish as some act like they are going to be the next Rolling Stones. My husband says, well, you're not a teen band.

Yeah, but we can still take notes from them. Even if we have to fake it till it's real.

The Real Me

I spent last week at girls' camp for our church, as one of the leaders in our young women (12-18 yrs of age) program. I had a lot of fun, but sometimes, I had a hard time just really letting my hair down.

We exchanged embarassing moments one night, and I was just mortified to say some of the things I said. I have no problem getting up and performing songs in front of strangers, but talking about embarassing things with a group of girls was like going to the dentist.

My fellow leaders at girls' camp seemed bewildered when I invited them to my August first concert. They can't believe I actually perform with a rock band.

One of them said, "You are very brave."

I suppose this takes some courage and a bit of insanity.

If they actually show up, I think I will give them the biggest shock of their life.

***
Do I need an extroverted personality in real life to make it as a singer-performer for a local band?

Do I break out of my real self to take on a certain performing persona? And will it spill over into "real life"? Or will it be the other way around?

When I was a college student, I was the social butterfly, and that was a rip, but kind of tiresome. When I met my now-husband, I was a senior, and I think I finally settled a little, and that was the foundation for our relationship. No longer the "life of the party" at every moment, but just real, honest-to-goodness this-is-me, take-it-for-what-it's-worth.

***
Two weeks to go!